Anyone else tired of the media talking about women and body/beauty issues?
I hope other people are.
I feel a bit mean with my reaction. I feel like I should be standing up saying something stupid and hollow like "You go girl!" but really, I feel annoyed, irritated, and frustrated.
To me, it is so contrived, so disingenuous. We shake our finger at people and corporations that "fat shame" and "stream-line beauty" so we then "rebel" and then talk about how we don't need to talk about it. Constantly.
We shouldn't be focusing on women's physical appearance. So let's draw attention to women's physical appearance then tell them not to focus on it.
Got it?
...Me neither.
It is now a beauty-crime to be thin, white, blue-eyed, and blonde. You are hated if you have a "thigh gap" or is you "pass the finger trap test." You get the hipster sneer if you wear makeup, or if you put on form-fitting clothes. Painting your nails? How dare you. Curling your eyelashes? You monster. You are a disgrace to women everywhere.Interesting. I do a lot of these things, and I felt much better about myself before social media "came to my defense."
Why do I do these things?
Clearly, it's because society has convinced me I am ugly and I need to do these things to so I can begin to see myself as beautiful and confident.
Wrong.
I do these things because I want to, I like to. I think it's fun and I feel more peppy and energized when I feel well-groomed. It's a miracle if I get through the day in the same shirt. I spend my time playing "where's your nose?" and naming colors. I read story books with pop-up pages, and I have cut up more bananas than I thought possible. My big trips out consist of picking up forgotten items at Target or buying paint at Lowe's. I am continuously falling behind on laundry, vacuuming, and watering the plants. (The "housewife rant" is worth anther blog.) My life is a little...boring. Important, valued, beloved, but boring. Slipping on some trendy jeans with my freshly painted toenails makes me feel cute. Putting on some makeup and fixing my hair makes me feel pretty. I spend a grand total of 10 minutes getting ready. 10 minutes that is usually stretched out to 30 because my one-year old is quite needy and fussy, but collectively I get 10 minutes to spend on myself. The makeup rubs off in a few hours, my clothes get smeared with peanutbutter, and my hair and nail polish look disheveled at an amazing rate, but I still do it. Taking care of myself and my appearance goes a long with me. Like when one gets over a cold, you want to put on pants, run a brush through your hair, and smile with minty fresh breath. It makes a difference. Do I fret over my appearance? Do I worry if my hair gets wet in the rain? Do I feel terrible if I wear yoga pants 50% of the time? Nope.
Why?
Because these things are just a tiny part of how I see myself. I am not defined by my outward appearance. I am so many things beyond my hair color, dress size, and the shape of my nose.
Finding the narrow area where you are socially acceptable is difficult if you rely on pop culture. You must be slender, not overweight, but not too skinny. Though "overweight" is a term that is now frowned upon. You are either, curvy, more-to-love, or "a real woman." Though too skinny is bad to, you then obviously have an eating disorder. You also need to wear enough make-up to "accentuate your features" but too much that you look like a Halloween mask. Oh, and if you go bare you are either "homely" or a hero...it depends on your motive.
You must wear clothes that say "I'm not trying too hard" with a simple t-shirt and jeans, but they have to be the right style of t-shirt and jeans. If you wear skirts all the time you are either a cool hippie, or a weird homeschooler. Hair? Well, long is feminine and pretty, but it can also be described as sexy, which would be appealing to men. And, as we all know by now, being seen as "attractive" to men is horrible and demeaning. That is, unless, your hair is too long, then you are considered a bible-thumper or a hoarder. Short is funky and says "I don't care about society's standards." This has become popular, so popular that it's becoming trendy...losing it's rebel status. Too short and you seem too masculine...or that you are having a Britney Spears meltdown. Shoes are lower on the totem pole (literally) but there are rules there too. High heels suggest confidence, but you run the risk of men looking at your legs more (again, not good...men showing interest in women? ew). Wearing flats everyday means you are either Zooey Deschanel or modest and shy. Sandals all the time suggests you are lazy...or fun...I forget what the sandal has to look like to determine the difference. I think it's sequins.
Confused? Exhausted?
Yeah, well, try writing it.
All these "women's movements" seem to be missing the point. Maybe that is because they aren't defending you. Maybe it is all a skillfully crafted illusion. Stop working the client, stop advertising self-identity, stop angling the conversation to your benefit. Everyone has an agenda. I've learned a lot from Mad Men.
“You are the product. You feeling something. That’s what sells." -Don Draper
Just please, please, stop playing victim. Stop heckling, judging and criticizing others. There is no standard, just fads and big mouths. Things change, evolve; in ten years there will be a whole new set of "rules." Look past it.
Do what I do, look at the latest celebrity magazine cover with Blake Lively at the beach in her spunky bikini, showing off her thigh gap and no-stretch-mark-tummy and think: I hope she put on sunscreen.
M.LEWIS
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