Baby Weight Adventures

   I'd like to take the time to write an unusual post. Well, unusual for me at least. I talk a lot about my kids and even my pregnancies, but I only touch on the physical aspects of having kids. Specifically, weight. I do like the term "baby weight." It's not entirely inaccurate, the weight gain is due to the baby, but it also allows to disown the weight a bit. Like, this is not my weight gain, it belongs to someone else, I hold little responsibility. But the truth is, as the months go on, you can't blame the kid anymore. Darn.
   As all of you know, I had my sweet Adalaide 6.5 months ago. This is my body's second go around for postpartum recovery, my second go around at getting "back to normal." I use quotation marks because I never felt normal, not at the time. Looking back at it, I was pretty fit and slender, but try to tell me that back then and I would have sincerely laughed at you and insisted it was all a carefully crafted illusion. Ah, those were the days.

   Truth be told, I am uncomfortable talking about weight. Not just my weight, everyone's weight. I know my aversion is my problem, and everyone should share what they want, I just get squirmy with the details. I don't need to know your clothing sizes or the numbers on the scale. Heck, I don't even like it when people say to me "Hey, you've lost weight." To me, I hear "Hey, you're not as fat as you once were." But that's probably because I would have to admit to myself I had/have extra weight.
   My weight gain is due to having kids. I am not passing blame, it is the truth. The weight loss (or lack there of) is due to me and my choices in lifestyle.
   I gain 50 lbs with Lorelai. Yep. 50. Ouch. Just seeing that number makes me cringe. I fight the urge to scroll back and fudge the number and force myself to type on. I had some decent morning sickness from weeks 6-12. The only thing that sat well in my stomach was bread. Bagels, toast, crackers, tortillas, etc. That's a lot of carbs; a lot of calories. I got over the queasiness, but then sunk into "I'm pregnant, I'm going to enjoy eating anything I desire." I also quit my job around this point. So, I had a lot food going into my mouth and a lot of sitting going on in my livingroom. Don't misunderstand me, I didn't binge, I didn't just shovel in chips and ice cream; but I certainly didn't buy a lot of apples and celery. I also was exactly motivated to exercise with a huge watermelon tummy either. This went on for the remainder of the pregnancy.
   I had my beautiful baby girl late fall and spent the next couple months adjusting to motherhood. I spent my days trying to catch up on sleep, snacking on food, snuggling my baby, and working hard on nursing. That was the winter I spent 3 days iced in at our apartment, even over my birthday. I got into a rut. I did kind of lean on the theory of "9 months to gain, 9 months to lose." Guess what, sitting around half-awake with your baby everyday doesn't equal weight loss.
   I watched the 9 month mark come and go, and my baby weight still stuck around. I had to actively do something about it. Then, of course, I hid behind excuses. Well, I had to do something with Lorelai's Halloween candy, she's too young to eat it herself. Then there was Thanksgiving, LEL's first birthday, Christmas, my family's birthdays, and then my own, etc; and Lorelai "needed" my attention, I had no time for physical activity beyond gathering laundry and unloading the dishwasher.
   I did get sick of myself and my attitude. I got my rear in gear in the spring. I decided I wanted to wear my old, cool, pretty clothes again. I wanted not to hide anymore. I was motivated. I was doing well for a couple months. I was...pregnant again.

   Adalaide's pregnancy was not a repeat of Lorelai's. I felt similarly, if not a little worse, but I did not want to head down that road again. After all, when I got pregnant again, I still was carrying LEL baby weight. I was starting off worse the second time than the first. I did ok with Addy. I gained only about 35lbs. But I did not wait for the "9 months on, 9 months off" timeline.
   When Addy turned 4 months old, I told myself I had had enough recovery time, and I needed to get going again. Finding time and energy to do any sort of exercise routine was (and is still) hard to come by, so I focused more on food.
   I started buying so many fresh fruits and vegetables, I impressed myself. Sure, I missed a lot of my old foods, but I was adjusting, and liking my new foods just fine. I did this for about a month and a half, and I lost 0 lbs. That's right, it made no difference. Some motivation, huh?

   I knew what I was doing was healthier for me regardless of the scale, so I kept with it...and still have. After Adalaide weaned herself (I have the worst nursers) at 5.5 months, it became a lot easier to move around and exercise. I started doing routines and even bought a dvd recommended by my skinny mom friend.
   Well, that didn't work out too well. It was a 30 day plan. I made it the first 4-5 days feeling empowered. Sure, the first 2 days killed my muscles, but they got stronger pretty fast, and I was determined to finish. By day 9 my joints were not doing well, specifically, my right knee. It was truly painful to do the more advanced routines. I wrapped it in a brace, applied ice and heat, and started taking daily painkillers to get through my exercises. I reached the 14 day mark, approx. half way through the plan. I weighed myself to see my progress. I think I lost 1 lb, even then I'm not sure, my clothes were pretty light. So, at this rate, it would take me a year and a half, knee surgery, and buckets of Tylenol to lose the baby weight. Not Cool. So, I reluctantly suspended my 30 day plan and did more of my own thing.
   I pick my favorite low-impact exercises that focused on my problem areas, stomach and upper arms/shoulders. I bought even healthier foods and cut out even more "junk" from my diet. I did this for a couple weeks and made another appointment with my stingy scale. Sure enough, no change.
   All my effort, all my planning, organizing, prepping, sweating, stressing, and deprivation made no difference. As I stared longing into the closet from my scale I could see all my cute fall clothes...mocking me. "HA! You thought you could wear me this year?" taunted my jeans. "You aren't even close to fitting into me." laughed my fitted, button-downs.

   To be honest, I feel slightly defeated. I feel like I made all these smart, healthy choices, and have been dedicated and steadfast in my journey. I feel like all that effort was wasted. At the beginning of my adventure I lived a rather unhealthy life. Lots of frozen dinners, snacks, sodas, and sweet treats. I did no exercising outside of what I had to do to keep track of my kids and dog. Since then, I have done almost an 180° in terms of food and I have been doing what I can physically handle in the exercise department. I have almost no soda, very little sugar, little bread, lots of vegetables and fruits, lean meats, nuts, etc. I do 100 sit ups a day and spend about 15 minutes of weight training a day. My progress? I have lost 2 additional lbs...on a good day.
   I'm not giving up, this routine of exercise and fresh food is good for everyone no matter the scale feedback, but I can't help but look back at old pictures of myself and wonder, will I ever look like that again? Maybe I was wrong to expect bigger results so soon. But we're going on 3 months here. 3lbs in 3 months. I fear that figure of a year and a half is looking more and more like reality. What's a real bummer with that is...I may be pregnant again by the time I reach my goal. Maybe not...though 3 kids suits me.

   I don't really know what I wanted out if this post. Not pity, but maybe empathy? Have any of you all had such a difficult time with losing baby weight? I am starting to wonder if I may have a medical complication I'm not aware of...though, I was tested at the beginning of Addy and everything was normal. So, I think I just need to suck it up, put my head down, and continue to plow forward. Carrots, and spinach, and water...yay.


M.LEWIS

The Girls Update

Things around here have been generally low key lately. I know, I jinxed it.

Adalaide's schedule has been established, as much as one can establish with an almost 6 month old. That's right, this week, Addy will be 6 months old. Crazy.
She is still waking up during the night; there has only been 3 nights (not consecutively) she has slept from bedtime to sunrise. Still no teeth, but she is eating rice cereal and simple fruits and veggies pretty well. Her "omg what is this in my mouth" face is pretty cute. I will have to try and get a picture of it one of these times before she adjusts to the taste. She is close to sitting up by herself, she can hold her own for about 10 seconds before wobbling too much and tipping over. I will know her weight next week but I think she has gained another couple pounds since her last check-up, and is most likely hitting the scales at a whopping 13lbs. She can hold her own bottle for a bit, if she's laying down. She also "puts herself to sleep" in her crib 90% of the time. She loves her big sister and thinks everything she does is laugh-out-loud hilarious. I can get giggles out of her if I try, but Lorelai gets belly laughs without any effort. I love it.

Lorelai enjoys her baby sister, but she is still hesitant on sharing. Though, to be fair, sharing right now consists of Addy sticking the toy in her mouth and giving it back to Lorelai all slobbery. I can see why Lorelai isn't crazy about doing that all the time.
Most of the time they hang out together on the floor and Lorelai doesn't get distracted by her at all, like she's always been there. I think that's great, she just has this attitude of "Oh, her? Yeah, she's my baby sister. She's around all the time."
Lorelai does look out for Adalaide, which as a parent, makes me feel awesome. Addy fell asleep in her carseat one day and did that whole infant shlump-over thing. Lorelai spotted this and said "Oh no! Mom, baby sister!" Another sweet time, she saw Addy without a paci in a store and made us stop. "Go back! Baby shister, paci!"
My compassionate little 2 year old. Though, in a few months she will be 3! Again, crazy.

The next month should be pretty quiet, then things kick into gear. Fall is coming, my favorite time of year. The time where the heat lifts, the cool breezes filter in, and the leaves start to melt into shades of red, yellow, and orange, which matches the pumpkins clusters you see in festive yards. In October, we have Adalaide's christening and Halloween, Addy's first. Then November slides in with Thanksgiving (another 1st) and Lorelai's birthday. Then December, Christmas. By far the best holiday, filled with tradition, love, and magic. Lorelai is already asking for Christmas music in the car. I think she inherited my deep love for Christmas. This excites me. She is at the age where she will understand it a bit more, and love it a bit more. This, combined with Adalaide's first Christmas will make this year extra special.

Sorry for the tangent, I was just daydreaming for a bit. ;)

Anyway, this sums up our household for awhile, at least for the kiddos!


M.LEWIS

Weaning.

Well Adalaide is on her last stretch of nursing. I do have mixed feelings about it, but at this point I am too tired to fight it.
She has done a lot better than Lorelai did, so that in itself feels like progress. I wish I was one of those women who breastfed without issue, but I am not. Just like with Lorelai, I hit a point where I am tired of thinking out nursing every waking moment. Drinking gallons of water, forcing Addy to feed often, pumping, waking up so uncomfortable I can no longer sleep, or waking up...wet. We'll just leave it at that.
I know some women love it; love feeling close to their baby, having a special connection through simple mother nature. Honestly, I don't get that whole "it's so beautiful" feeling most of the time. I mainly feel frustrated. I feel pretty close to my baby as is...I think it's that whole, you-grew-inside-me thing. I do regret the loss of the health benefits though. Nothing is exactly like breast milk, but she has been supplementing for months and is now eating cereal and baby food every day, I do firmly believe her health and well being will not suffer.
Some times I feel selfish when I get excited about being done with nursing. I feel like my wants should not be on the forefront, Addy's should be. But, then I remind myself how she screams and fights me on breastfeeding throughout the day. My "easy nurser" turned rogue awhile ago. My constant efforts to maintain and increase my supply are in vein when she refuses to eat unless it's in a bottle. I could pump and feed her that in a bottle, but really? My whole day, whole schedule would revolve around that.
You see? It's a see-saw of pros and cons, happiness and frustrations. So, I finally adopted my current outlook. Try to breast feed straight from the breast. It's for Adalaide, if she refuses, then that's that. I don't want to be attached to a machine half the day. If my own baby doesn't want to eat the "natural" way, then we are done. No fighting, no frustrations...and that's why we are down to one 5 minute feeding every 12hrs. That's all I can get her to take. When it's time, it's time, ya know?
Sorry if this was a muddled blog full of TMI or whiny complaints. I just have to go through this litany with myself before I can let it go. Mommy guilt at its finest. ;)


M.LEWIS

Disclaimer: Mother/Wife/Person Mini Rant Ahead

I find myself wanting to rant after rough days/nights. I then feel guilty about wanting to rant and complain. I know I have it good, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to feel tired, frustrated, annoyed, and exhausted. I do. But is it fair to write it down? Is it fair to put it out there for people to read? I can hear the sighs and see the eye rolls already.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...what else is new? You have kids. You are tired and frustrated a lot. And of course you love them, you don't need to keep saying that."

I guess I think readers feel this because I feel this. I feel I crumble after one bad day or one rough night. In reality, it takes more than that, but I still feel like a wimp sometimes.

So, hear is my "rant", but in a list formation, for I am too tired to write any more full, lucid paragraphs. Once I get it off my chest, I know I will feel better.

• Phoebe, why do you have so many health issues? You didn't used to be so sickly, so often. And why are you so over dramatic about it, especially at night, when we are trying to sleep? I hate it.
• Adalaide, please get over the fact that we have to ride in the car. It's not that bad. Your screaming doesn't help the ride go any faster, in fact, it's the opposite.
• Lorelai, dear, make up your mind. The answer to "What do you want for breakfast?" is not "apples, waffles, NO WAFFLES, muffins, toast, MUFFINS."
• Summer, I hate you, and your need to make me hot and sweaty all the time.
• Adalaide, waking up and staying up for 3 hours right after I go to bed is just mean. I know you smile and think it's great fun to watch mommy slip into sleep-deprived insanity, but you are wrong. This will become evident in the morning. Just wait.
• Lorelai, screaming and crying from your bed is acceptable if you are A) having a nightmare B) significantly hurt C) sick or D) someone is trying to break into your room...in fact, you better scream, loudly, if that happens. Reasons not to scream and cry from your bed are A) the door is open B) your paci fell out of your mouth C) your stuffed animal is under the blanket or D) your lullaby cd has ended.
• Phoebe, stop spitting out the little "different tasting" bits of your food all over the kitchen. They hurt when you step on them, I am tired of sweeping them up, and Lorelai sometimes yells at them, calling them bugs.
• Ikea, I love you, but why does it cost $100 to ship something from the Frisco store to my door...10 mins down the road. Target has free shipping for its card-carrying members, you should too. I don't have the car space or the large amounts of time to mess with all I need to pick up.
• Chris, my love, the dirty-clothes bin has three slots: darks, colors, lights. In that order. It has always been that way. Browns and blacks do not go in the "lights" and white socks don't belong in the "darks." That sentence felt racist. 
• Miss Spider (on Nickjr.), your always calm and collective voice is obnoxious when everyone is yelling and throwing fits. You're a mom, stop pretending to be so patient and understanding all the time. No one believes you.
• Telemarketers, stop calling me at the worst possible time. I am trying to get kids to sleep here, I know I didn't win a cruise, I know I didn't really talk to you last week about lowering my interest rate on my "debt", and hanging up after I run across the house to pick up the phone is just cruel, not mention pointless.
• Me, you got this whining out of your system, now refocus. Hopefully you got some self-relating smiles from your readers, but it's time to let things lie and move forward with your day.

Most of these are related to motherhood. It is the hardest job I have ever had. The hours are never-ending, the bosses are big cry babies, the pay is nothing, and there are no promotions, bonuses, or vacation time. The job of creating and raising wonderful, productive, self sufficient people is difficult, but ultimately, the best use of my time...and I still have a lot of time to kill. ;)

"Motherhood was my career. I'm totally satisfied with that." -Ann Romney

Yes, I quoted Ann Romney at you. Deal with it.

M.LEWIS

Oh...Just A Day

So, my day went like this:

5am- Adalaide wakes up to eat
5:30am- Adalaide is back asleep
6am- I get up
6:30am- Breakfast for me, eye drops for Phoebe
7am- Wake up Lorelai
7:15am- Breakfast
7:20am- Wake up and feed Adalaide
7:40am- Leave for Grandma's (my mom's) house
8am- Kids at Grandma's, I leave to go to my Dr. appt
9am- Done with appt, stop by CVS for Rx
9:40am- Go home to meet guy fixing my mailbox
10:30am- Still no guy, call, and he is an hour late
11am- Go to Grandma's to pick up kids
11:15am- Feeding Adalaide, again
11:30am- Guy calls, he is on his way to fix mailbox
11:45am- Adalaide and I get home, left Lorelai with Grandma until work is done
12:15pm- Guy came, fixed, and left
12:35pm- Wake up Adalaide from nap and go to pick up Lorelai
12:50pm- At Grandma's, and give Adalaide some time out of the carseat
2pm- Feed Adalaide, again
2:30pm- Leave Grandma's and go home
3pm- Lorelai down for nap
3:30pm- Adalaide down for nap
3:40pm- Eye drops for Phoebe
3:45pm- Me down for nap
4:45pm- I'm up, and I wake up everyone else
5:15pm- Make rice cereal for Adalaide
5:30pm- Feed Adalaide, once more
5:45pm- Chris home
6:15pm- Dinner for me, Chris, and Lorelai
6:30pm- Clean up dinner, gather trash & recycling and take to curb
7pm- both girls changed, and in pj's
7:30pm- Lorelai teeth brushed, and in bed
7:45pm- Adalaide in bed
8pm- Write this list and get tired just by reliving my day
8:15pm- (predicted) Make some evening coffee and see how long I last before I crash and Zzzzzzzzzzzz
10pm- Eye drops for Phoebe


M.LEWIS

Minor Upgrades

I touched on this earlier, but I am sprucing up our master bedroom. Nothing crazy, just upgrading some things, reorganizing, slightly new layout...things like that.
You know about the mirror, but the other thing I was oddly jazzed about was getting new lamps for the bedside tables.

My new lamps, plus a flowery accessory...Sorry Chris ;) 

It's kind of stupid how much I love these, but they are so pretty. Plus, I don't knock my hand into a lampshade every time I reach over to the table.
I saw the style at one of favorite places, Pottery Barn:

Pretty, but $$$

One thing...they are $150 a piece there. Ouch. I love Pottery Barn, but I tend to get ideas from them, then find a more affordable alternative elsewhere.

Enter Ikea. $30 a lamp? Much better; and I actually like it more.
I then ordered a storage ottoman from Target, on clearance. I was excited. Half off, $50.

My dvd's are in the ottoman now

I threw on some pillows I had and added a new, adjustable floor lamp (also from Target, $50.) This is situated in the are my dresser used to reside. They are now joined together on the other side of the door.

Ignore the clothes peeking out from the drawers and the dvd sets on top...still have to find them a new spot

I relocated the mirror to the other side of the room to fill up a glaring bare space on the wall.

Yes, we have a nightlight...kids, ya know?

I added more curtain panels and let them hang straight to make the room feel taller.

Don't mind the bumps in the comforter, I didn't want to officially "make the bed" for the picture

Now, this is still our original bedframe. We are planning on getting a new, wood frame that takes up less space and is more my style. And, yes, Ikea is a winner again.

Less huge, more shaker style

Similar look, but it's not a sleigh bed, so we can push it flush against the wall adding an extra 8' to the space.

Then there is the other main wall. I bought some picture ledges for $10 a piece at Ikea (again, yes) and reconfigured the collage.

The arrangement isn't set in stone, but I am fine with it for now

I like my teeny, tiny sitting nook

I like it a lot better. I added some new things, took out the manic-too-many-pictures frames, and went with a classier look...at least to me.

So that's the new look. I still think I want to add hardware to my dressers (that are not my favorite), but I am fine with them for now.
I love being in my room now, that's always a good feeling. Not a huge room, but it feels bigger with these changes.


M.LEWIS

Starburst Mirror

Idle hands. Must. Do. Something.

This has been a nagging voice echoing in my head lately. The question is...what do I make? What do I alter? What, what, what...
Well, I got it.

So, I wanted to spruce up our master bedroom, and make it a bit more fancy. This means altering the curtains (done), replacing the lamps (not done), moving the dressers to a better spot (done), add hardware to the dressers (not done), and create a mini seating space (enter project).

I am going to order a upholstered storage ottoman for the space, then add some colorful pillows, and add an interesting wall art piece. I decided I wanted a starburst [or sunburst] mirror. I have always liked the look, and even made an art piece of one in college...which won a spot in their art show. Anyway, so I went shopping.

Holy, moly. Why are mirrors so expensive?!

$110

$90

$223

$85

$268!

$168

Yeah. Um. No. Weird colors, odd sizes, and every price comes with shipping and handling. So, I decided to- you guessed it- make one myself. Hooray for Hobby Lobby! I bought a candle plate (aka a mirror) for $5, then two packages of wooden dowels for a total of $6. Some metallic paint, $4, and two packages of small mirror token piece things for $5. I already had a hot glue gun, so I was set.

Glue the dowels behind the mirror

Decide on a design

Paint the dowels, and glue the mirror tokens on

TADA!

Go ahead and tell me for $20, this doesn't look just as good as the $268 models. Plus, it's the color and size I want.

I love it. 

Now for the rest of my plan!

M.LEWIS