Weaning.

Well Adalaide is on her last stretch of nursing. I do have mixed feelings about it, but at this point I am too tired to fight it.
She has done a lot better than Lorelai did, so that in itself feels like progress. I wish I was one of those women who breastfed without issue, but I am not. Just like with Lorelai, I hit a point where I am tired of thinking out nursing every waking moment. Drinking gallons of water, forcing Addy to feed often, pumping, waking up so uncomfortable I can no longer sleep, or waking up...wet. We'll just leave it at that.
I know some women love it; love feeling close to their baby, having a special connection through simple mother nature. Honestly, I don't get that whole "it's so beautiful" feeling most of the time. I mainly feel frustrated. I feel pretty close to my baby as is...I think it's that whole, you-grew-inside-me thing. I do regret the loss of the health benefits though. Nothing is exactly like breast milk, but she has been supplementing for months and is now eating cereal and baby food every day, I do firmly believe her health and well being will not suffer.
Some times I feel selfish when I get excited about being done with nursing. I feel like my wants should not be on the forefront, Addy's should be. But, then I remind myself how she screams and fights me on breastfeeding throughout the day. My "easy nurser" turned rogue awhile ago. My constant efforts to maintain and increase my supply are in vein when she refuses to eat unless it's in a bottle. I could pump and feed her that in a bottle, but really? My whole day, whole schedule would revolve around that.
You see? It's a see-saw of pros and cons, happiness and frustrations. So, I finally adopted my current outlook. Try to breast feed straight from the breast. It's for Adalaide, if she refuses, then that's that. I don't want to be attached to a machine half the day. If my own baby doesn't want to eat the "natural" way, then we are done. No fighting, no frustrations...and that's why we are down to one 5 minute feeding every 12hrs. That's all I can get her to take. When it's time, it's time, ya know?
Sorry if this was a muddled blog full of TMI or whiny complaints. I just have to go through this litany with myself before I can let it go. Mommy guilt at its finest. ;)


M.LEWIS

Disclaimer: Mother/Wife/Person Mini Rant Ahead

I find myself wanting to rant after rough days/nights. I then feel guilty about wanting to rant and complain. I know I have it good, but that doesn't mean I don't have the right to feel tired, frustrated, annoyed, and exhausted. I do. But is it fair to write it down? Is it fair to put it out there for people to read? I can hear the sighs and see the eye rolls already.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...what else is new? You have kids. You are tired and frustrated a lot. And of course you love them, you don't need to keep saying that."

I guess I think readers feel this because I feel this. I feel I crumble after one bad day or one rough night. In reality, it takes more than that, but I still feel like a wimp sometimes.

So, hear is my "rant", but in a list formation, for I am too tired to write any more full, lucid paragraphs. Once I get it off my chest, I know I will feel better.

• Phoebe, why do you have so many health issues? You didn't used to be so sickly, so often. And why are you so over dramatic about it, especially at night, when we are trying to sleep? I hate it.
• Adalaide, please get over the fact that we have to ride in the car. It's not that bad. Your screaming doesn't help the ride go any faster, in fact, it's the opposite.
• Lorelai, dear, make up your mind. The answer to "What do you want for breakfast?" is not "apples, waffles, NO WAFFLES, muffins, toast, MUFFINS."
• Summer, I hate you, and your need to make me hot and sweaty all the time.
• Adalaide, waking up and staying up for 3 hours right after I go to bed is just mean. I know you smile and think it's great fun to watch mommy slip into sleep-deprived insanity, but you are wrong. This will become evident in the morning. Just wait.
• Lorelai, screaming and crying from your bed is acceptable if you are A) having a nightmare B) significantly hurt C) sick or D) someone is trying to break into your room...in fact, you better scream, loudly, if that happens. Reasons not to scream and cry from your bed are A) the door is open B) your paci fell out of your mouth C) your stuffed animal is under the blanket or D) your lullaby cd has ended.
• Phoebe, stop spitting out the little "different tasting" bits of your food all over the kitchen. They hurt when you step on them, I am tired of sweeping them up, and Lorelai sometimes yells at them, calling them bugs.
• Ikea, I love you, but why does it cost $100 to ship something from the Frisco store to my door...10 mins down the road. Target has free shipping for its card-carrying members, you should too. I don't have the car space or the large amounts of time to mess with all I need to pick up.
• Chris, my love, the dirty-clothes bin has three slots: darks, colors, lights. In that order. It has always been that way. Browns and blacks do not go in the "lights" and white socks don't belong in the "darks." That sentence felt racist. 
• Miss Spider (on Nickjr.), your always calm and collective voice is obnoxious when everyone is yelling and throwing fits. You're a mom, stop pretending to be so patient and understanding all the time. No one believes you.
• Telemarketers, stop calling me at the worst possible time. I am trying to get kids to sleep here, I know I didn't win a cruise, I know I didn't really talk to you last week about lowering my interest rate on my "debt", and hanging up after I run across the house to pick up the phone is just cruel, not mention pointless.
• Me, you got this whining out of your system, now refocus. Hopefully you got some self-relating smiles from your readers, but it's time to let things lie and move forward with your day.

Most of these are related to motherhood. It is the hardest job I have ever had. The hours are never-ending, the bosses are big cry babies, the pay is nothing, and there are no promotions, bonuses, or vacation time. The job of creating and raising wonderful, productive, self sufficient people is difficult, but ultimately, the best use of my time...and I still have a lot of time to kill. ;)

"Motherhood was my career. I'm totally satisfied with that." -Ann Romney

Yes, I quoted Ann Romney at you. Deal with it.

M.LEWIS

Oh...Just A Day

So, my day went like this:

5am- Adalaide wakes up to eat
5:30am- Adalaide is back asleep
6am- I get up
6:30am- Breakfast for me, eye drops for Phoebe
7am- Wake up Lorelai
7:15am- Breakfast
7:20am- Wake up and feed Adalaide
7:40am- Leave for Grandma's (my mom's) house
8am- Kids at Grandma's, I leave to go to my Dr. appt
9am- Done with appt, stop by CVS for Rx
9:40am- Go home to meet guy fixing my mailbox
10:30am- Still no guy, call, and he is an hour late
11am- Go to Grandma's to pick up kids
11:15am- Feeding Adalaide, again
11:30am- Guy calls, he is on his way to fix mailbox
11:45am- Adalaide and I get home, left Lorelai with Grandma until work is done
12:15pm- Guy came, fixed, and left
12:35pm- Wake up Adalaide from nap and go to pick up Lorelai
12:50pm- At Grandma's, and give Adalaide some time out of the carseat
2pm- Feed Adalaide, again
2:30pm- Leave Grandma's and go home
3pm- Lorelai down for nap
3:30pm- Adalaide down for nap
3:40pm- Eye drops for Phoebe
3:45pm- Me down for nap
4:45pm- I'm up, and I wake up everyone else
5:15pm- Make rice cereal for Adalaide
5:30pm- Feed Adalaide, once more
5:45pm- Chris home
6:15pm- Dinner for me, Chris, and Lorelai
6:30pm- Clean up dinner, gather trash & recycling and take to curb
7pm- both girls changed, and in pj's
7:30pm- Lorelai teeth brushed, and in bed
7:45pm- Adalaide in bed
8pm- Write this list and get tired just by reliving my day
8:15pm- (predicted) Make some evening coffee and see how long I last before I crash and Zzzzzzzzzzzz
10pm- Eye drops for Phoebe


M.LEWIS

Minor Upgrades

I touched on this earlier, but I am sprucing up our master bedroom. Nothing crazy, just upgrading some things, reorganizing, slightly new layout...things like that.
You know about the mirror, but the other thing I was oddly jazzed about was getting new lamps for the bedside tables.

My new lamps, plus a flowery accessory...Sorry Chris ;) 

It's kind of stupid how much I love these, but they are so pretty. Plus, I don't knock my hand into a lampshade every time I reach over to the table.
I saw the style at one of favorite places, Pottery Barn:

Pretty, but $$$

One thing...they are $150 a piece there. Ouch. I love Pottery Barn, but I tend to get ideas from them, then find a more affordable alternative elsewhere.

Enter Ikea. $30 a lamp? Much better; and I actually like it more.
I then ordered a storage ottoman from Target, on clearance. I was excited. Half off, $50.

My dvd's are in the ottoman now

I threw on some pillows I had and added a new, adjustable floor lamp (also from Target, $50.) This is situated in the are my dresser used to reside. They are now joined together on the other side of the door.

Ignore the clothes peeking out from the drawers and the dvd sets on top...still have to find them a new spot

I relocated the mirror to the other side of the room to fill up a glaring bare space on the wall.

Yes, we have a nightlight...kids, ya know?

I added more curtain panels and let them hang straight to make the room feel taller.

Don't mind the bumps in the comforter, I didn't want to officially "make the bed" for the picture

Now, this is still our original bedframe. We are planning on getting a new, wood frame that takes up less space and is more my style. And, yes, Ikea is a winner again.

Less huge, more shaker style

Similar look, but it's not a sleigh bed, so we can push it flush against the wall adding an extra 8' to the space.

Then there is the other main wall. I bought some picture ledges for $10 a piece at Ikea (again, yes) and reconfigured the collage.

The arrangement isn't set in stone, but I am fine with it for now

I like my teeny, tiny sitting nook

I like it a lot better. I added some new things, took out the manic-too-many-pictures frames, and went with a classier look...at least to me.

So that's the new look. I still think I want to add hardware to my dressers (that are not my favorite), but I am fine with them for now.
I love being in my room now, that's always a good feeling. Not a huge room, but it feels bigger with these changes.


M.LEWIS

Starburst Mirror

Idle hands. Must. Do. Something.

This has been a nagging voice echoing in my head lately. The question is...what do I make? What do I alter? What, what, what...
Well, I got it.

So, I wanted to spruce up our master bedroom, and make it a bit more fancy. This means altering the curtains (done), replacing the lamps (not done), moving the dressers to a better spot (done), add hardware to the dressers (not done), and create a mini seating space (enter project).

I am going to order a upholstered storage ottoman for the space, then add some colorful pillows, and add an interesting wall art piece. I decided I wanted a starburst [or sunburst] mirror. I have always liked the look, and even made an art piece of one in college...which won a spot in their art show. Anyway, so I went shopping.

Holy, moly. Why are mirrors so expensive?!

$110

$90

$223

$85

$268!

$168

Yeah. Um. No. Weird colors, odd sizes, and every price comes with shipping and handling. So, I decided to- you guessed it- make one myself. Hooray for Hobby Lobby! I bought a candle plate (aka a mirror) for $5, then two packages of wooden dowels for a total of $6. Some metallic paint, $4, and two packages of small mirror token piece things for $5. I already had a hot glue gun, so I was set.

Glue the dowels behind the mirror

Decide on a design

Paint the dowels, and glue the mirror tokens on

TADA!

Go ahead and tell me for $20, this doesn't look just as good as the $268 models. Plus, it's the color and size I want.

I love it. 

Now for the rest of my plan!

M.LEWIS