20 Things to Tell My Daughter

A few of my friends have been doing this lately, and I think it is really sweet. So, here is my contribution. 20 Things to Tell My Daughter...


1. Don’t invest in personality descriptions. "Nerd," "diva," "punk," etc. They are defined differently from person to person; They are fleeting, and most definitely useless. Be who you are and don’t worry about the classification.


2. It is unlikely you will keep most childhood friends as an adult. You will change and mature in different rates and quantities. It’s not a “bad thing” it is just how people are. Remember the good times and move on.


3. Songs that you love as a teenager/young adult; songs that talk about heart-break and true love, will suddenly seem melodramatic and annoying to you once you are married and have kids. Smile at the past naïve you and download some classics.


4. Don’t stare too much at yourself in the mirror. Yes, you will be less than thrilled about one feature or two; but you shouldn’t focus on that. You are the combination of your mother, your father, and years of love and experience. You are beautiful.


5. Don't break the law. It's not cool. If the law says wear a seat belt, wear it; if the law says no drinking until 21, wait until you're 21. No good will come from thinking you are above the law, and mommy does not want to bail you out of jail or visit you at the hospital because of it.


6. Homeschooling does not make you weird, socially-inept, or educationally-stunted. Neither public school nor private school is more (or less) beneficial. Do not let others act as if it is.


7. Don’t feel guilty for watching tv, just try to have standards. Tv has taught me wit, sarcasm, empathy, creativity, vocabulary, and most of all, that a good laugh can turn your day around. Watch reruns, you will appreciate the small things more. But always know when to turn it off.


8. Don’t let people pressure you in to “trying new things.” And I don’t mean drugs or alcohol (though don’t do that either), I mean eating fried octopus, singing at a karaoke bar, or traveling to hot-dirty-foreign- Idon’twannabehere. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. It will only make you cranky.


9. Do as many projects as you can on your own. I don’t necessarily mean solo, but don’t hire someone if you can do it. Especially painting. Moving a brush up and down is a task you can manage, I promise.


10. Dye your hair a weird color if you want. It’s hair. It grows back. Cut it short, grow it out, add layers, paint highlights…it grows back all the same. Though get the crazy stuff out of your system before you become a parent...that's just embarrassing.


11. Be respectful of other people’s religion. You don’t have to agree with their views, but know they grew up with the principle of “this is the truth,” same as you and your religion; no one has the authority to determine "right" or "wrong."


12. It’s perfectly acceptable not to like summer or warmer weather. Most people will probably think you are crazy, but anyone who likes sweating, sunburns, and high electricity bills are most likely crazy themselves. On the other hand, if you do like summer, I will try to accept that as well.


13. Reading is important, but if it is not your favorite hobby, that’s ok. It’s not mine, and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. I rather build something with my hands. To each their own.


14. You may not be strong in math. I am not, but I manage to live a productive life anyway. Some are mathematicians, some are scientists, and some are more art-oriented. The world needs all kinds. You are still important, intelligent, and valuable.



15. Buy shoes. I have yet to find a shoe that is unflattering. But don’t buy expensive ones…they touch your feet and the ground, keep that in perspective. Find reasonably priced footwear, and lots of them. You love wearing shoes, even in pajamas. Though steer away from heels, none of them are comfortable...not one.


16. Prom is stupid…so is homecoming. You are not missing anything. The initial concepts of these events are not stupid, but over the years they have evolved into something else entirely. Wearing large, fake flowers with long, plastic junk dangling from around your neck is not a good look. Spending thousands of dollars on a dress, limo, flowers, hair, nails, and shoes is ridiculous. Your prom is neither the Academy Awards nor your wedding day. It is a party for teenagers. Nothing more.


17. Be silly with your siblings. I know you do not have any yet, but when you are an adult, remember to be kid with those whom you grew up with. Tell stories of the past; remember old vacations and holidays, and hilarious things your parents did. Life-long, genetically-linked friends are one of life’s greatest gifts.


18. Save your money. Use coupons, shop sales, and don't feel bad buying "off brands." This leaves $ in the bank, and you will be happy that it's there. No one wishes they had less money.


19. It’s ok for your kids to be your world. What else could be as important? They are your greatest gift and your longest legacy. Spoil them some, but too much. Give them rules, but nothing too strict. Be their mom and their friend…yes, you can be both, don’t believe otherwise.


20. Talk to me about anything. No matter what. I could never be ashamed of you. I could never love you less due to any action. Don’t be afraid to be yourself around me, or tell me exactly how you feel. Be independent, confident, and strong. Oh!...and I have dibs on your birthday. It's only fair.




Love,
Mom




M.LEWIS