"Is Today Over Yet?"

Adalaide is 3 weeks old today, and sleep deprivation is catching up with me. She is going through a growth spurt...or at least a feeding spurt. It became obvious last night. She wants to eat about every 1.5 hours; and when it takes 1 hour to feed/change/get her back to sleep, that leaves me with a grand half hour to sleep. By 5:30am, I was spent. She had all I had to offer and had left me no time to regenerate the supply.
Crying, fidgety, and impatient, she made it clear there was only one option left - formula. I am okay with this. I was doing all I could, and I know from LEL that my body doesn't understand this whole "supply & demand" theory. My body seems to consistently supply only a certain amount for my babes, despite their growing appetites. I think LEL was supplementing every day by 1.5 months. Addy is a little ahead of that schedule, but I am still holding out for a bit more to come in on a regular basis. If not, I can deal with it...you can only control so much, ya know?

Anyway, due to this schedule, I have been pretty tired. I get second/third/forth winds and I drink a fair amount of coffee, but this morning was comical on how out-of-it I was.

I woke up with a start at 7:15am to the sound of the garage door opening and Chris' car starting up. He was leaving for work; though, that didn't compute. Instead, I thought I was waking up from an afternoon nap and the 7:15 on the clock meant it was night and I had slept past dinner...and so did my girls. "Oh my gosh, Lorelai is still sleeping?! Something must be wrong with her." After my mini panic attack, it quickly sunk in that it was indeed morning, and 3 hours of sleep was going to kick my butt today.
I later tried to diaper Addy with LEL's diaper, then I was going to try and wash my hair even though I did it about 12 hours ago, and then I looked for my coffee cup for about 5 solid minutes before I remembered I was holding it. I do think there were a couple more moments that illustrated my exhaustion, but who can remember...definitely not me.

Lorelai has "helped" by throwing a few tantrums today, and Adalaide has continued her eating pattern complete with screaming and crying. I was trying to put LEL down for a nap and decided it was bottle-time again. I turned on the hot water and a brown-tinged spitting, spurting mess came pouring out of the faucet. Luckily, I just needed the heat to warm up a already-made bottle, but it was still gross and concerning. I tried multiple faucets, and yes, all were doing the same nonsense. Great. The problem wasn't on my end, but it still affected me. I do believe the issue has resolved itself now, but I am thankful for the bottled water in the pantry just in case.

Chris is still at work at this point and I do ask myself that familiar question: "Is today over yet?" ...not that it matters too much, tomorrow could go very similarly, but I am hopeful for a more restful night and a quieter tomorrow. With all this frustration, I am grateful that both my girls are healthy and safe; no matter how fussy they get, I still keep this in mind. ;)


M.LEWIS